My First Expert

Years have passed, but those days have been cherished in the most accessible corner of my memory─ the days when you were both my ‘baba’ and ‘maa’, the days when your loving embrace was the most secure thing in the world, the moments when tears rolled down your eyes while talking about ‘baba’ who left us long ago, venerable and unprotected. ‘Maa’ you will always remain the most special person in my life. Today, when I sit down to put what you mean to me, I fumble for words, not because I have nothing much to say but because I never ever defined the intensity of our relation through words. You have always been the one who I could trust more than myself, you have always been the one who had the right advice for all the problems I faced, you could always be shared whatever I had to share, and you will always be the first one whom I will share my happiness with. Your place in my life will never change─ no matter, who comes to my life.

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You are the first expert who I could rely on. You taught me how to tie the lace of the shoes, how to comb my hair in the right direction so that the teacher thinks I am a decent boy, you taught me how to cut my nails, and what not. You filled my world with all the emotional needs I ever felt. I will never be able to justify your contribution in my life by writing in words. This is an effort in vain. ‘Maa’ no amount of thanks or gratitude will ever be sufficient to match the pain you have token to raise me up. Today, I just have one thing to say to you, the one thing that sums up this failed attempt of mine to acknowledge your place in my life: ‘maa’ tujhe salam’!

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